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i write this

from Bloom by Naila Keleta-Mae

/

lyrics

ki sa pou'm fè?

koté pou'm gadé?

ki bo mwen pralé?

ki les pou'm prier?



what shall i do?

what steps should i take?

what move should i make?

who do i pray to?

i write this with all the critical analysis and emotional detachment of a woman anxiously awaiting her period; that which would be a welcomed end to spasms of worry erupting just below the surface of her calm

i write this with all the critical analysis and emotional attachment of a woman who has already spread her legs on the table of death. a woman who’s soul-cried a 19-year-old’s tears of confusion as blood mass shame was extracted from her womb

i feel you child of light

heard you request your birthright

i'm trying to get this whole thing straight

for me your birth not right now
i write this with all the critical analysis that this tangible woman frame can muster as 35 days have passed without the familiar red to mark the end beginning of nature’s cycle. a woman whose dirty middle finger has fingered cervix more than once in search of blood.

dawn touches me and i cry

got to cope with this time in my life

only one decision has to be made

my womb emptied again?

i write this with all the resolution of a woman promising to question and refusing to carry a child out of some jacked up notion of moral obligation.

i am a woman moving past the pain and shame shackled to my gender. i am a woman moving past the guilt i feed off of out of some learned messed up demure behaviour. i am a woman moving with strength, with shame, with purpose, with hope, with love.

standing with my pride

i’m humbled by this life

so unsure what the future holds

the answers escape me




i wanted to have sex

can’t i be allowed too?

just wanted to express

that part of me too.

credits

from Bloom, track released January 7, 2009
neil "bassone" benskin
electric bass

peter gibson
fender rhodes

neil "master zibz" guilding
percussion

naila keleta mae
producer, lyrics, lead & back-up vocals

alan kohl
acoustic guitar

kaveh nabatian
producer & trumpet

chilandre patry
intro lyrics, intro vocals, back-up vocals
jason “jahsun” promesse
drum kit

drum kit and electric bass recorded at dna studios
engineer: greg “glitch free” smith

other instruments and patry's vocals
recorded at ricochet studios
studio engineer: kaveh nabatian
assistant engineer: naila keleta mae

keleta mae's vocals recorded at phase one studios
engineer: saam hashemi
assistant engineer: luis breves

mixed at phase one studios
engineer: saam hashemi
assistant engineer: luis breves

mastered at phase one studios
engineer: george seara
assistant engineer: mark renner

license

all rights reserved

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about

Naila Keleta-Mae image

Naila Keleta-Mae Toronto, Ontario

Dr. Naila Keleta-Mae is an Assistant Professor at the University of Waterloo.

Her areas of expertise are race, gender, and performance. She has performed in Canada, France, Jamaica, and South Africa.

She has appeared as a commentator for media outlets including the BBC, CBC, and The Canadian Press and written for Noisey, The Globe and Mail, and Today’s Parent. ... more

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